I’m an ethical consumer, that’s a 90’s thing to be,
So it’s hydrocarbon aerosols instead of CFCs,
And now that Macca’s uses those recycled paper trays,
My care for our environment can last for days and days.

I was going to start a compost but I couldn’t stand the smell,
So I put it in the garbage with the glass and cans as well,
I know I should recycle but I just don’t have the time,
To be sorting through the garbage can with a hectic life like mine.

You say I shouldn’t drive to work, but go by bus or train,
And have me waiting half an hour each morning in the rain,
My mobile phone would get all wet, my hair spray would dissolve,
I’ll be environmental if discomfort’s not involved.

Now it’s great to save our forest but I think it’s fair to say
That if someone’s job is threatened then the forests must give way,
Well we can’t live without money, just look at those who do,
From their hair and clothes it’s obvious they haven’t got a clue.

It’s not that I hate ferals, or people who are queer,
In fact I have a friend who has two earrings in one ear,
It’s just they tend to smell a bit or so the rumours go,
But I’m just being prejudiced ‘cause I really wouldn’t know.

I took some re-used bags once when I did the weekly shop,
But I felt a little foolish so that practice had to stop,
I still buy all the packaging I used to buy before,
But now I feel guilty so that counts as doing more.

What do you mean - inactive? I’m PC and up to date,
I buy dolphin-friendly tuna and I think Greenpeace is great,
I use unleaded petrol in my brand-new Commodore,
And I’m boycotting my French class and the local French bread store.